Age Gaps & Transitioning from 3 to 4 Kids
One of the most common questions I get since having Norah, is how our transition is going, from three to four kids. Most people look at us like we're insane for having 4 kids in 5 years, and almost never reserve their opinions about it. However, there is (and has always been) a method to our madness, and what works for us might not work for everyone. All that to say, I'll share our experience with four kids, but just remember, because it's this way for us, doesn't mean it's unanimous.
Our kids are all under two years apart - Baylor & Bellamy are 18 months and the girls are all about 20 months apart. Having Baylor & Bella close in age was so fun, totally a smooth transition for us. Baylor was never old enough to know different than having a sibling, there was never jealousy or animosity, and they are still best friends (or bestest fwiends - if you ask them).
Winnie was born 22 months after Bellamy, and it was rough. The kids had no issues (why do people always assume your older kids are going to be jealous of the baby? this question drives me nuts), but Collin and I legitimately felt like we were drowning for at least 2 months after she was born. Trying to figure out how to parent/love on our kids/have alone time/keep the house clean/maintain friendships while being outnumbered by three kids under 3 was chaos. We eventually got in a rhythm around month three, but would both agree that it took us out of our comfort zone. Winnie was also our most challenging baby, which probably didn't help the situation.
Norah was born in July, just a few days after Winnie was 20 months. I will say this: our life looks very similar to three kids, despite now having four. The transition has been seamless for us, and the best part about all of it has been watching our older kids love on their newest sibling. Because they're all so close, there hasn't been a ton of anticipation with new babies, but Norah was highly anticipated, and has been indulged in kisses, affection, love, and snuggles since day 1. Baylor & Bellamy are super helpful, which has been amazing, and I can honestly say it's been our smoothest transition. Maybe the more the merrier has some real merit here? ;)
I know I'm painting a very pretty picture, so I do want to ensure you, that although our transition has been smooth, our days are still very chaotic, long (or just continous, depending on how you look at it), our house is only tidy when the house cleaner comes on Wednesdays, the laundry room looks like a closet exploded, and I usually don't make it into the shower until 1:00 am (wish I was kidding). Collin and I try to escape for date nights (with Norah for now) at least twice a month, and we have to be very intentional about catching up with each other in the evening, checking in on every day life and the bigger picture.
We feel beyond blessed to have 4 healthy kids, and make a constant effort to be positive and grateful for our kids and for each other. We wouldn't trade this messy, chaotic, crazy life for anything.