5 Ways to Get Your Sexy Back
K girls, we're really going for it today. Here's the deal: having a baby (or 4!) can really put a damper on the romance (raise your hand if you can relate!). It's something so many of us struggle with: not because we don't love our husbands, but because having kids, running a house, working and doing everything else under the sun is exhausting. Mix that with some out-of-wack hormones, and some bed-time escapees and it's a recipe for disaster. Intimacy in a marriage can be complicated, and I know everyone is different, but for us, it's very important and something that remains a priority in keeping our marriage healthy.
I'm sharing 5 ways to get your sexy back - 5 ways we keep the intimacy alive in our marriage:
1. Do something that makes you feel beautiful. The reality is this: if you don't feel beautiful, sexy, confident, or comfortable in your skin, then you definitely won't want to share. Go get your nails or hair done, buy clothes & underwear/bras that fit you where you are so that you're not squeezing yourself into your pre-baby clothes. Go get a facial or a massage - just do something positive for yourself. Collin always said that when he played baseball, the motto was always "look good - feel good, feel good - play good" Self worth determines SO much and when you feel confident, it goes a very long way.
2. Wear something sexy. LISTEN, the last thing I want to do post-baby is put on something "sexy" ... I'll take my husbands sweats for 500, Alex. BUT, you'll be amazed at the power of wearing something outside your normal range. I'm not saying go crazy here, but something pretty will work wonders: like this or this. And I can guarantee you, your husband will feel like he hit double jeopardy :) #imdoneipromise
3. Be Rested. There's nothing worse than being so tired but feeling like you need to deliver. ahem. SO, make sure you're getting rest, lots of sleep and make it a priority to be well rested after the kids are down. (this is what always get's me - the kids are down and I'm ready to collapse in the middle of the kitchen of exhaustion) You'll feel so much better about being intimate, you'll be more engaged and your husband will definitely notice :) Another thing that might help is setting expectation: pick a day or two a week where you're intentional about spending intimate time together and then you have it pre-determined in your mind.
4. Intimacy Outside the Bedroom -This one is huge. And no, I don't mean "outside the bedroom, i.e. the kitchen..."... If you're not communicating with your husband, it's going to be tough to be intimate. Guess what: he's not a mind reader. If you're struggling, tell him. If he's not meeting your love languages: let him know! (if you haven't done The 5 Love Languages, you MUST. It will change your marriage). For me, if Collin is meeting my love language (quality time) AND helping with the kids, serving me, and being present, it's a whole lot more enticing to be intimate with him because I feel connected, understood and supported. He knows this, and does an incredible job at it. I try to do the same and together, it creates a synergy in your marriage. Our marriage philosophy is simple: If I can focus on serving him and he focuses on serving me, we'll never have to worry about serving ourselves, because we're already taken care of.
5. Have Fun. Intimacy should be fun, if nothing else. Be lighthearted, don't be afraid to make jokes or laugh and definitely don't take yourself too seriously. After all, we're just like 16 year olds making out in our room before someone catches us. Just instead of our parents, it's our 5 year old who will undoubetley report at preschool circle time the next day. I.E: Scarier than your parents.
BONUS: Set the mood. Nobody wants to be intimate in a lifeless setting. Turn on some music, diffuse some oils (ylang-ylang & rose, or jasmine) and turn the lights low. Also, lock the door. :) Your children will thank you (one day).
If you guys have more suggestions, leave them below!! XO